Archives for category: Running

Sitting out bites.  I hate it.  I hate how paranoid I feel when I am defying my doctors orders.  Why did I go to the doctor in the first place?  I have no idea.  I don’t need some fancy medical degree or nice letters after my name to know that I am clearly better suited to diagnose my foot problem.  Why do I find what he has told me invalid?  I prefer to believe what he has told me is invalid.  Is it possible that I have a hearing disorder..defined as the inability to hear anything that would upset me and make me not run.  Do not mock…this is no time for laughing – my self loathing of how I feel now is at an all time high.

I was running this morning.  (I know, I know..shhhhh…don’t tell the doctor).  I wanted to go fast but was haunted by my doctors face…and the look of disappointment with my hearing disorder.  I kept thinking, what’s another mile, I have already come this far.  Well call me genius…ya, keep going, forget the fracture, that’s for wimps, let’s shatter it.  Way to go slick.  (i should slap myself for being dumb)

So in my obsessiveness and complete lack of ability to do what I am supposed to do, I have researched just how to cure myself.  The list isn’t really helpful but here is what I found:

  • They say to go slow, don’t jump into any activity too quickly and build up your endurance over time.
  • WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  Progress how slow…I don’t have time for slow.

  • Pay attention to your nutrition and eat a well balanced diet.
  • Eat well, I do..I enjoy my protein shakes and goldfish snacks. I am sure this is exactly what they mean.

  • Wear the correct shoes and when needed replace shoes
  • No problem here.  I have heals for any occasion.  Now replace shoes?  Who is the author…I just don’t understand.  I get adding to the collection but replacement, absurd.

  • If the condition does not improve, see your doctor.
  • I can see my physician, I see him well, there is nothing wrong with my eyes

    Someone who cares about me told me this and it is slowly sinking in…he said, “Cheetah you are so young, you have years of running and infinite number of races to participate in, what’s 2 weeks off?”  He’s right.  There is time.  Patience is paramount.  Self Control and discipline, necessity.  I need to go after recovery as aggressively as I go after races.  My legs are a gift and I need to treat them like the treasure God intended them for, to do good things and inspire others. 

    God has me sitting out for a reason.  Time for reflection.  Time for true realization that running is not an entitlement, it is a gift. 

    I just found five dollars.

    Cheetah on the Mend

    Up in the trees, lurking around the corner, hiding out…I know you see me and i know you are watching.  Each time I have disregarded your warnings, I know you are there and laughing your sinister laugh (like the one the evil scientist does).  You throw sabotage tactics in my path, but I hurdle them (or so I tell myself).  Like a ninja, I can’t see you BUT I know you are there.    You have provided me a list of warnings, told me just what NOT to do and just what to do…I have listened to just what I want to hear.  I can, I am a woman.

    Today takes the cake – I have no doubt it was you, sitting in your car across the street, just waiting for me to run on by.  You know my path and I KNOW you were the pilot of the remote control bat (I prefer not to believe it was real although it was).  SWOOPING in front of my face, so close your wings touched me.  I hate touching.  I stopped.  ABORT RUN.  And then, i realized, it must be you….and so I kept going.

    Stop it with the subtle reminders.  Stop it with the “I told you so face” the one I know you are doing even though I can’t see you.  I give you that you are smart and do think what you have told me is valid.  But, because I am runner I am invincible and have a hearing disorder, able to only hear the sound waves that say, yes, you CAN run.  You never said couldn’ said shouldn’t…oh, what a huge mistake on your part.

    Although I realize it’s in my benefit to surrender, I just CAN’T!  I have a problem.  I can’t stop.  I will conquer you.  I will prove your theory wrong.  (que special dramatic oh my gosh music)…….fade….Runner limps away and makes follow up appointment with him…stupid foot doctor.

    Cheetah’s don’t walk.

    Limping Cheetah Girl

    So quiet and now the cheetah can not stop talking.  It might be caffeine induced or maybe I am naturally this full of useless information.  Kinda of like facebook, its a listing of thoughts that I don’t really have room to store in my brain, so I use facebook as my minds’ trash can.

    Obsession is such a strong word – its not just bad smelling 80’s men’s cologne..its worse, its something that you can’t escape.  I am obsessed with my training..the moment I got up I immediately packed my clothes for the gym for this evening and then suited up to go for a 7 mile run.  Working out once a day would be normal….which no one has ever called me that name.  I hope they never do..those are fightin’ words.

    While I was out running under the moon I got to thinking about commitment.  When you love something so much you become committed, to the point where you would not consider anything else.  Like Tide detergent, I just can’t imagine anything other than Tide…sure I could save some dollars and use the Target brand but I won’ one is making me use Tide but me and my commitment.   Last night I printed out my training plan and so the commitment begins…

    Every morning that stupid little paper OWNS me!  If I do what it says I am delighted with myself, if I do less I want to put myself in a trash can, if I do more I am convinced the stress fracture fairy is coming to shatter me below the knee caps.  I made this agreement with this paper and there is no white lies, no escaping the truth..because the truth shows up and let’s you know how faithful you have been when you see the word “START” over your head in the form of a huge banner.  Truth hunts you down at mile 20 and reminds you what kind of relationship you have had with the paper.  It’s disturbing really. 

    I have a friend who is training for his first marathon – I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to what he will learn along the way.  I can say running taught me more about my body than anything else in this world – you learn so much about yourself and if you follow the paper then you have planned time for thought.  Not sure how running makes your brain go wild but it does, people wonder where my creativity comes from..its not drugs, although a nice guess (the only performance enhancing drug I have enjoyed is Red Bull…in moderation people!)

    Good night all…I have to get some rest so I can be ready to see what I need to do in my relationship tomorrow.

    Be one with the paper-

    Cheetah with no real point…and that’s ok, I don’t have to have a point..its my blog and I do as I wish.

    On Monday I will, next week I can, after the holidays, when things calm down, I am too busy, I don’t have time.  Invalid.  All Invalid.  For some reason I am stirred with emotion tonight, sitting here completely frustrated with hearing every single one of those things as reasons why someone “can’t” run.  Everyone has time to run…and I mean everyone.  You make time for what you love – if you truly have a heart for fitness or a love for your health you MAKE the time.  It might be that you have to skip watching your favorite show, get up 30 minutes earlier, wait until the kids are in bed and jump on the treadmill in the basement or do laps around the block.

    No one in the world can tell me they can’t find time – my sister in law has FOUR kids and works…she makes time to run.  In fact in two weeks we will be running her SECOND half marathon together.  There is time if you want there to be time.

    I get so frustrated with people who talk about what they used to do, how fit they used to be and have no valid reason why they let themselves go.  If its medical I am not a heartless donkey and I certainly have a heart for that but when it’s just that you have been making poor choices and doing a bunch of talking and no doing, that annoys me.

    Don’t talk to me about how you wish you had abs like me or how lucky I am to be naturally thin.  I am NOT naturally thin..I am not naturally fit or a natural athlete..I work for it.

    Now aren’t I pleasant this evening?  Truly my frustration comes from my love for people, sounds so backwards.  But I love people so much that I imagine a world where everyone is healthy and making healthy decisions.  Our healthcare would be revolutionized, people wouldn’t be filling hospital beds, people could experience JOY in life from the natural seratonin and endorphins from being fit, people would not be parked in front of the TV not talking to each other…productivity would go up in the office, call ins would be reduced…and on and on. 

    If you are reading this and are currently saying you can’t, you don’t have time or some other “reason” why you haven’t had time to exercise please try.  Give it a week..then try for two weeks…a month.  If you are fit, get out there and really try to influence someone to change their life..make the goals achievable and celebrate the successes.

    Dang, don’t you want to look good in your new fall jeans?  Don’t you want to love your reflection?

    Cheetah on the Mount

    Glad bags are not outfits for people.  They are outfits for trash, and some people do fit into that category but I digress.  I am fascinated by the people who put on trash bags and use them to sweat more – its over 100 degrees here and it takes little effort to sweat.  In fact this morning I looked like someone pushed me face first into a retention pond, but alas, all the sweaty goodness was created all on my own.  I sweat and I like it.  If I am out exercising and I don’t sweat I truly feel like i have wasted my time – I would put that workout in the trash bag.

    What I have been thinking about A LOT is what motivates people to get out there to get moving.  So many times I find its all for the wrong reason.  Now, don’t get me wrong, whatever the reason to get people moving I am all for the movement part – but motive matters.  (Or so I hear from those fancy CSI shows).  There are thousands of reasons why people get out to run but be sure its because of your own personal goals, not because you are trying to impress someone.  NO ONE cares how many marathons i have run..I care..and I don’t need to share it with a single soul to enjoy my achievement.  And why does that matter?  Because then running becomes part of you no matter what, its not about who’s watching, who will give me a pat on the back, who will notice – i noticed..i am proud of me and that really is what makes it a sustainable habit for life.

    Runners are funny people.  We do the weirdest things and find it absolutely normal.  Here is a brief list of the weird things that we runners do that the average schmo would raise an eyebrow to…be not afraid….if you are a new runner, this will make you feel much more normal.

    1.  We talk about poop…we talk about it openly and honestly. 

    2.  We are not afraid to talk about GI distress and a super sprint to a port-o-let

    3.  Never ashamed to whip out the Body Glide and apply…we chafe, and what a rotten word that is.  I even hate the way it sounds.

    4.  Men wear nipple guards – and thank God..the first time you see someone who didn’t you will know they should have.

    5.  Food is not about taste…we will swallow just about anything if we believe it will make us run faster

    6.  We expect people we wave to while running to acknowledge us – and if not, dagger eyes…demon road person

    7.  We love the statement, my sport is your sports punishment

    8.  Our training plan is more important that any single document in the home…and at times more committed to than marriage.  I suspect anyhow.

    9.  Never underestimate how irrational a runner can appear on a runners high – we believe we can burst through brick walls and take fact we are in flight.

    10.  We hate to be called joggers.  Going for a jog?  NO.  I am going for a RUN.

    Random thoughts – but I will close with this, because its my blog and I make the rules around here.  In mass this weekend the pastor was talking about going running with his Dad.  His Dad was chatty – talking to him the whole time while he was gasping for air.  After the run his Dad would say, “son you need to run more”  and my pastor was praying for oxygen.  His Dad said you need to run more to be able to run more.  You need to use your body to be able to use your body.  Yes, that’s right – you need to use your body to be able to use your body.  Think about it.

    Cheetah with the Dagger Eyes

    Please don’t go, please don’t leave me…I will be so lonely.  We belong together, we are happy together.  When you leave there is a huge void that only you can fill.  Every morning I have this conversation with my bed.  Let GO, leave me alone, let me OUT.  Its not easy to get out of bed to get up and run some mornings.  In fact this morning I slept in a little bit and thought, perhaps I will take the morning off.  Until….

    Stupid facebook.  I opened my page only to find a note from a friend I saw last night saying how much I inspired him to get back out and run…6am and he was on his way out the door.  Dang it.  Now I HAVE to run….Then it got worse, I got a note from my brother, thanking me for inspiring him to run.  Ok, Lord, I got the message…stop acting like a sloth Rowe and get your cheetahness out the door!  So, I suited up and now feel amazing!

    The running community is likely the most inspirational group of people out there.  We are so happy to encourage each other to reach goals, no matter what they are.  We have mileage envy.  Odd thought that there is a serious feeling of jealousy when driving by a runner!  Even if I ran in the morning already, I still stare down the road warrior and wish it was me running.

    But the thing that struck me this morning was that I am not out running to be better than anyone else.  I am out to be the best ME.  That’s why I love running, it isn’t about anyone else – its about you and you alone, your goals, your dreams, your amibtion, your drive.  Competition is nice but the run is never about racing to out do someone else, its about outdoing yourself.  Beating a previous personal record.  Something about that thought makes me happy, very very happy.

    Running has given me absurdly amazing levels of joy and happiness. I want all of my non runner friends and family to experience it.  That’s where my drive to motivate and inspire other people to run comes from – if I can just edge them out the door and hope they get a small slice of a runners high their lives are changed forever, for the good.

    One slice of runners high coming right up.  (that may likely be the cheesiest thing I have written ever but I like it because I am a nerd)

    Cheetah Girl serving Runners High

    Look away, now back at me, now in the mirror now back at me…you are not me.  And that is the greatest thing ever!!!  I said it..its great that you are not me.  If you were me, you would waste countless minutes checking to be sure you did turn off the iron….at least 4 times before leaving the house.  Once you have left the house then you will wonder if you locked the front door..and hope all day long that when you return home that you still have a home.  Granted I might as well be Amish..any burglar is going to be very disappointed..but if someone should come in at least they could check on the iron.

    Mass yesterday was about purpose….the question was what are you good at  – the thing people say you are good at, what you enjoy the most and comes the easiest to you.  It took me over 20 years of living to figure out what was “my gift”.  I recall so many conversations I had with my grandma about how sad I was that I didn’t have a special gift.  My Dad – can take a block of wood and carve it into the most beautiful bird, fish, duck, etc…all by sight.  He could paint, he could do ANYTHING.  My brother Tom – perfect at anything he wanted to be perfect at – sharp shoot – never missed a shot in his life, great fisherman, great with kids, can carve, tie flies, and on and on.  My brother Greg – the smartest person I know..started reading the dictionary for fun in first grade (I think he might have been smarter than all of his teachers before he was born), built me a computer himself, amazing runner and so funny.  My mom..unique talent for being able to get out any single stain in this universe!!!  But what was my thing, what was my gift – I wanted so bad to be good at anything – to have a hobby, that one thing that I did well and looked forward to doing.  Sure i played soccer, but I was only okay.  I skied and was average at best.

    When people asked me when I started running distance I say it just happened.  It’s like when you all of sudden enjoy broccoli  – your whole life before then thought it was capital punishment from your parents and their sick way of making you hate life by forcing you to eat it.  But one day…you didn’t hate it…in fact, you ate in on purpose and before you knew it, really like it.  Same thing with my running…it all started with that fool who kept getting on MY stairmaster…which forced me to hop on that horrific walking machine…the dreadmill.

    Walk, walk walk…then a few miles each night running, then before I knew it…seven miles every night.  THEN..this man, Gary Jones…HAUNTED ME…he did the meanest thing ever…he put a race registration form on my treadmill for a 5k!  I am not competitive, I do not run to race, I am not a racer, I have no interest, I don’t want to…and night after night, that stupid piece of paper made its way to my treadmill display.  I registered.  I ran.  I loved it…6 months later, ran my first marathon….10 years later…still running, racing and loving every step.

    What is my point.  Who the hey knows.  I guess what I am saying is to be patient finding your gift – that thing you love to do the most.  My pastor put it like this…every person is given a special skill that no one else has, no one can fill in for and only you have “that” thing that only you do like you do…without you bringing your gift to the table the team can’t succeed. 

    How would you feel if you spent countless hours picking out just the right thing for a loved one, the perfect gift.  You give it to them with pride and joy that it will delight them…and they let it sit on the shelf.  Don’t do that to God, imagine how He feels when you let your gift from Him collect dust. 

    I must go forth and be awesome now, that is my gift…ridiculous levels of awesomeness.  Excuse me while I check on  my iron…again. (and is autoshut off and I STILL have to check 800 times per day)

    Cheetah Girl feeling awesome

    Who’s job is it to remove road kill?  Is it part of the circle of life?  If not, who ever has that job can not be paid enough.  Today marks the first time I have seen the supreme ugliness of a rat.  Yes, a rat.  A vile, disgusting RAT.  This thing was clearly on roids because it was HUGE!  Seriously the size of a cat.   It gave me the full body shiver of disgust – ya know the one, when your legs shake and your whole body does this weird wave that you can not control, yeah, that one.  I threw up.  (well not really but in my head I did and it makes for a better story)

    Other road kill grosses me out but not as bad as this one…the tail, the eyes, the scary teeth – the look like its ready to snatch your soul.  UGGGGGGGGGGH.  I can’t stop thinking about how gross it was.  Ok, I am over it.  Next topic.

    My run was weird, i felt rotten the whole time, i hated every step for some reason.  Yet, my time was great – I don’t get it.  I had to walk a few times to convince my legs to stop hating me.  How does that happen, I felt terrible and ran a better time than normal.  Mysterious.

    But I got to thinking, even on my miserable run….the number of friends and family that I have that would give anything to run is mounting.  I have a friend suffering from a condition called POTS.  She might be the sweetest, kindest, most loving soul out here.  Has a heart of gold, creative spirit and drive and motivation that is off the charts.  This condition has made it impossible for her to run, made it impossible for her to run after her little one and play with him like she dreams about.  Every time I am out running I think about her and keep going in her honor – if she can’t run I will put in the miles for her.  I won’t pity myself for a bad run because someone out there would like to have any run, even a bad one.  If you get a chance, look up POTS and be educated about it.  Admittedly I had never heard of it until she was diagnosed.  I want nothing more than my friend to kick this condition in the face and return to the blessed life she deserves!!!!  So, when you are out there and struggling with the miles…think about those that would give anything to trade places with you and run a few miles for them.

    Be blessed, be optimistic, be grateful that He has let you be healthy enough to enjoy this sport.  It’s not an entitlement, it truly is a gift from our Father.

    Cheetah Girl Kicking POTS in the face!

    Someone, oxygen please..hurry..this man just took my breath away! (and that wasn’t even a clever pick up line!) I said it before and I will say it again, there is nothing that compares to the view in South Beach, and I am not talking about the beach.  The people there are fit, they take care of their bodies and are simply beautiful on the outside.  No matter how many crunches you do, no matter how many miles you put in, someone there looks better…its a given.  But in a sick way I love that!  Hard work shows, I’m so inspired by others who push themselves.

    Which brings me to my next thought, how hard do you work when no one is looking.  Those who are starving for attention are out there trying to get fit for the wrong reasons.  If its about the cute workout clothes and who’s looking at you in the gym then you will miss the mark.  If its about being healthy and wanting to have energy and enjoy your life as a fit and healthy person, I give you a clap clap.  (Because I am sure you are seeking my clap clap approval).

    I give another clap clap to those sporting abs that are visible to the naked eye.  One day I will write a whole blog about abs.  A friend of mine said it well..Abs are made in the kitchen.  1.8 billion crunches won’t do jack without eating properly.  Did you know everyone has a six pack – not in the fridge smartie!  Its there, under a layer of fat – myself included.  Its up to you to remove that layer and let those abs out.  Invite them to come and hang out with you…your Abs vacation is over!  Can you imagine how you would feel to look in the mirror and see those abs….”hello master, nice to see you”

    Let me also say this, I have not always been healthy – it was a LONG road to get to where I am today.  I am not naturally thin, I work hard for this – and I work hard because I know where I have been and I don’t want to go back to that ever.  Hideous, yes….that would describe me 10 years ago.  I have photographic evidence.

    If you’re fit, lift somebody up – encourage someone, get them out there.  Everyone has a desire to be healthy, maybe you could be the person that gets them started. 

    Off to the AAU Track and Field National Championships all week – now if you want to see inspiration, motivation and drive at the highest level…come on out! 

    Cheetah Deep in Thought

    Exercise hurts.  If it doesn’t you are not doing it correctly.  It should hurt, if it were simple and didn’t hurt everyone would do it and the world would be visually magnificent.  It amazes me how people will strive to make exercise more simple and hurt less and be shocked they are not seeing results.  Shocking…low effort means low to no results, wow, weird.  I’m no mathlete but that math sounds correct.

    I went for a run in Miami this weekend – on my path I passed by a man roller blading WITH ski poles – looked like a downhill skier.  Way to be lazy and look ridiculous while you are at it.  I spotted a man on a bike in a speedo – now that took my breath away and not in a good way.  Did you know they make speedo thongs – I didn’t know until this weekend and I am sorry to be the one to tell you its true.  Visual Violation.  FLAG ON THE PLAY!

    My run was amazing – I was fortunate to get the higher than life feeling, which in turn caused me to behave like a crazy person.  Someone out there is definitely writing about my absurd behavior in their blog, I deserved to be mocked.  I was running like I was freakin Flash Gordon, singing out loud, and fist pumpin the heck out of my arms.  Yes. I. Did!  I belted out Man in the Mirror and Nasty (a little Janet) like I was part of the Jackson family.  My feet felt like they never touched the ground.  My mind went to the happiest place, my body felt like I was being carried.  The ocean breeze was straight out of heaven…a little gift from God.

    Amazing what things you think about while running – I can say I did tear up, stopped to give thanks to God for the way I felt right at that moment.  My life is drowning in blessings and I am so humbled by the things I get to experience.  The path the Lord has me on is that of fortune and at times am overwhelmed with the gifts I have been given – no words can describe my gratitude.  When you stop thinking about what you are going to do after your run, stop thinking about last night, stop thinking about your work sitting on your desk, the laundry you haven’t done, and choose to enjoy the moment you are in; EVERYTHING is better.

    Don’t be lazy, don’t say you will start tomorrow…after the holidays, when i have time…you will never have time if you don’t make time.  God made you in His perfect image, don’t you want to return what he gave you in  mint condition?  I do.

    Run Happy Cheetahs!

    Cheetah Jackson