Let me just say I could and likely should create an aircraft etiquette book (perhaps a series of books) that can be created all from what I have learned from bad behavior.  There is so much I can say on this topic as I have been on many a flight, which does not make me an expert but it does remind me barbarians are among us…

So here are some gems from my flight last night, I didn’t want the public to go without this information.

Gem #1:  I sat down in my aisle seat, the kid next to me in the middle seat turns to his mother and says, Mom Can I move, I don’t like people.
Gem #2:  2nd leg of my flight, lady next to me says – “I’m sorry if I smell, and I’m sorry if it gets worse”  Alrighty then.
Gem #3:  Captain tells everyone to shut off anything with an on/off switch, the man on the end of my row asked the flight attendant if he had to shut off his pace maker.  His wife said, “no honey, because you would be dead.”
Now I will say, this will be my first and LAST flight in the REAR of the aircraft.  I had my shirt over my face like one would do with a toxic diaper change.   I was suffocating.  I know bombs are being dropped over seas but let me just tell you..bombs were left in the rear of the aircraft last night.   There should be a no stink zone on the planes, I would pay top dollar. 
Behind me was the power talker – like someone pulled her rip chord and she couldn’t stop.  Her mother asked her to stop talking ”please stop talking, you have been talking non-stop for an hour and I can’t take it.”  “ok mom, I will sing”  And so..it got worse.  I wanted to fold myself up and be stored in an over head – it had to smell better up there.
Then the plane lands..begin the aggressive stander upper – the first to spring to action.  Ma’am, we are in row 43, the only seat farther back than us is the bomb shelter (aka lavatory…someone please tell me where the term lavatory came from…”lava” “tory”…let’s hope there isn’t lava in there).   But she is the FIRST to stand up, inch her way out and march up the aisle, all 2 rows.  How is it that she feels so entitled to march ahead of these other people?  Did they not endure the same 1.2 hours of encapsulated recycled savage air?  So why do YOU get to go ahead of them.  Now…say you get to go ahead of everyone?  Congratulations, hurry up and run to baggage claim.  We will see you there.  Standing.  Waiting.  May your bags come out last.
I have so much I have to do this morning otherwise i would keep writing..but I am headed out the door and haven’t even unpacked.  I just can’t wait to wash this layer of other peoples breath off of me.
People of the Blog…next time you are traveling be kind to the back of the plane, they are helpless souls that are held prisoner to the gift you may be giving to the Lava Room.
Jet Setter Cheetah