Please be seated. Better yet, pull up the therapy couch. Lay down. This is big. I. Saw. TWO MOVIES this week. That’s right, TWO! The world is ending.
Why the sudden change? Mid life meltdown? I don’t really know. Getting out of my comfort zone…being kicked out of my comfort zone, perhaps. OR, ladies and gentlemen..the highest levels of boredom.
Why don’t I like movies..the list is huge but as to not put you to sleep (unless you suffer from Insomnia I will connect you with Greg and he can tell you about his job). I hate seeing things that are not reality – I don’t like seeing things that could not really happen. I believe it gives the human mind false hope for things that can’t ever happen. It puts images in front of you that make you want for things you never did before you saw the 2 hours of fakeness. (yes, fakeness) I want everything that comes from my mind to be an original thought with as few pieces of fakeness influencing me. (I am submitting fakeness to wikipedia and you will see a picture of something un-real. ie. Trumps Hair)
Now, this is not to say that I don’t appreciate a good movie…although they do require attention span that I have only .7% of the time. So chances are high that I will be the fidgeter. The one who has to cross, un-cross and re-cross the legs…the one who has to adjust in the seat constantly…yes, HER. The one you give the “movie hate eyes”. Then there are the movie distractors…every theatre has them..the popcorn slobs and the slurpers. There is nothing delicious about that last drop of soda, BUT the super sucker is bound and determined to try six times too many to get that last drop. Bet it tastes like wax or air…something I have never longed for. But, I suppose I would if it was missing from my life. The popcorn savages are the ones who don’t even look at the bag but throw their hands in there and rummage around like a racoon in your trash. The bag is so loud. It echos in my ear..no matter where the popcorn animal is sitting..I hear you. You can’t make the bag quiet..and if you do, the sound of you crunching makes me wish for a roof tile to suddenly fall on you. Slurp and Crunch..two sounds that you can’t escape in the theatre. Silence is not just golden it is divine. If only the Lord Himself could intervene and silence the violators.
The movie was pretty good, no, it was VERY good. I said it. It made me think about fate, chance, free will and the power of true love. What lengths people will go to when they REALLY love someone….it blows my mind. I know I haven’t found true love yet but when I do, I am going to hold on and treasure it. I have waited for 35 years and will wait for another 35 until its right. I believe in fate. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in free will. I believe in divine intervention. I believe in me. I believe in HIM. I believe He will make our paths cross, and not by chance….by divinely ordered steps. Until then, I will wait…patiently. It’s worth the wait.
I am going to get a cheeseburger now. I told you…midlife meltdown…armageddon…are you not laying down? Why don’t you listen? Your mamma should slap you. Or not…I’m just kidding. I can’t ingest animal flesh..it will end me. And, what would my fans do without the chronicles? Probably make a movie about the Cheetah…please, when you do…no popcorn or straws allowed.
Much Love to y’all….it’s great to be alive!
Cheetah Girl in Flux